Monday, December 7, 2009

It's been 4 years...

As of today, it's been 4 years that I've been a breast cancer survivor. Being a survivor is a journey that doesn't really end, so here goes this year's chapter of where I am & how I'm feeling. My post today is from my heart because while the surgeries and treatments lasted about 9 months, the emotional part of having cancer will always be with me ~ which is one other reason for this post.

Yesterday I was browsing my blog and read my entry from last year on December 7th. While I was sitting here at the computer pondering/reflecting on the past 4 years, I have been trying to determine if I've made any progress, emotionally, since last year. I have to say, I think I have, even if just a little bit. For example, I don't think about cancer every day like I did before, I don't think every ache or pain is cancer coming back & I'm not afraid every single day. Now does that mean I have total peace about it ~ HECK NO! I still fear the unknown (maybe just not as often), I still cringe when I hear that someone had breast cancer return, and I can't stand the thought that someone died from a long battle with cancer. For me it's a day to day ~ step by step journey & today, I'm in a pretty good place. BUT ~ I never let myself completely forget or get too comfortable with my recovery.

As I reflect, I think about ~

* my husband ~ I was glued to his side for several months after my diagnosis and he constantly made me laugh;


* my kids ~ how well they came through this whole thing considering how young they were at the time (8 & 5 yrs);

* my amazing friends Michelle and Paula ~ who I still thank God for daily because they were there for me that horrible day;

* my Shistahs who picked me up on a daily basis;

* my neighbors, family and friends who constantly called, brought meals or took the kids for me; and,

* last, but certainly not least, my church family and my faith in God. I always knew He would get me through the situation and teach me something along the way.

There just aren't enough ways to say thank you to the people who cared in such big ways ~ I'm still overwhelmed and amazed when I think about it. So this entry ~ my words and this book, are just my small way of saying thank you to everyone who got me through the the worst days.





Now I know all my Shistahs are not in these next two pictures ~ but know that I love you all, pictured or not!

And a final note of thanks to Pastor Tim at River Oaks for your challenge yesterday to take time to ponder ~ it was so timely!

If you've made it this far ~ I appreciate it & for letting me share.

17 comments:

Sharon said...

Oh Kendra, what a heart-wrenching and heart-warming testimony today. Not knowing you that long, I was unaware that you're a cancer survivor. I've had 2 family members this year who've had double mastectomy's and our faith in God has got us through this. To you and your loving family, all the best. What wonderful family and friends you have to have walked this path with you and what a wonderful gesture of thanks to them all. I love your little Book of Thanks. God bless, tons of hugs from the other side of the world, Sharon xx

LollyChops said...

What a wonderful post Kendra! You really touched me with your pictures and words!

I am happy for my dear.

Tracey said...

Kendra, this is an incredible post! So heartfelt and touching. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are so incredibly blessed to have such a support system around you. May you continue to have good health for many many years to come. Keeping you in my thoughts! xx

i {heart} papers said...

Congratulations! What a heartfelt post. Your project is wonderful.

whoistracy said...

Kendra, I can't imagine what it's like to go through something like cancer. Your post brought tears to my eyes.

TexasGrammy said...

Kendra, I just love hearing your 'voice' in your writing. I'm so glad to know that you continue to move forward in a positive way ... but also that you are wise enough to remember where you've been and to be alert.

Happy Anniversary!
~Tex

CraftyViolet said...

Sorry to hear what you had to go thru but glad to hear that you made it to the 4 year mark. May you have many more celebrations as a survivor.

Debbie Fisher (debbiedee) said...

Kendra, I've been thinking of you these past few days wondering how you have been doing.

I want to thank you for the encouragement you were to DH's aunt when she was diagnosed a year after you. I don't know if we will ever truly know why God lets us go thru certain things in our lives, but I hope that I can be an encouragement to others that have faced brain tumors as I know you have been to others with breast cancer.

Thank you for sharing from your heart today.

hugs!!!

Latisha said...

Kendra,
I had no idea you are a survivor. What a heartfelt post, it gave me goosebumps and I felt my eyes get a little teary. I love how you made a book of thanks.
big hugs
Latisha

סיגל כהן said...

Ohhh....What a post!
You made my heart ache when I read your words.
You have great family & freinds that stood by your side at those days, thank god, 'cause it's not ovious at all!!!
Whishing you a healthy life, and lots of creative years :-)

Sigal.

Deb said...

{{hugs}}, warm thoughts and prayers my friend! You have made my life so much more special because you're in it, and I can't wait to actually meet in person! You are such a blessing to me and I know what a blessing you are to others! Thanks for this heart-felt post that reminds us all to be thankful!

Angela said...

Kendra I'm so blessed to call you Shistah and friend! {{{HUGS}}}

Heather McNally and Melissa MacDonald said...

Kendra - I love you! Your book of thanks and love is so beautiful - just like you!

AShu93 said...

What a beautiful book. Glad to hear it's been 4 years & I wish you many, many more as a survivor.

MaGoooo said...

Kendra - I LOVE YOU too Sweet Shistah! I'm so happy to say Happy Anniversary!! Many, many more! {{{Kendra}}}

MichelleY said...

Oh Kendra....I'm sorry I missed this post....stupid vertigo! Your faith, strength, and infectious positive attitude are a constant inspiration to me. I've said it before....and I'll say it again....God has truly blessed me with you!! Thank you for being my Shistah, travel buddy, and dear friend! I LOVE YOU!

Lana said...

Kendra, when I think back to that time, I think of you as a fighter. STRONG and ready to FIGHT. I remember our quiet time that February weekend. I just wanted to wrap my arms around you and never let go. You are an amazing person and you taught me so much.

(I'm sorry this post is late! I've been catching up on my life! LOL)

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