A page from my heart...

You know what? It's O.K. to scrapbook a page without using any photographs. Sometimes we just have things to say. That's exactly what happened with this page. I have been planning it in my head since last June. I wrote a poem {maybe it's an essay ~ who knows} about my experience with a cancer diagnosis and going through chemotherapy. It was an experience that I will never forget, but I thought it was important to document my feelings as I completed that phase of my treatment. The poem is called "Today I Hate Cancer, but...". I shared it for the first time last month at a Ladies Retreat & decided it was finally time to put in my scrapbook. I know the scan is too small to read so I will include the poem here for you to read.

• Supplies Used: Stamps: Stampin' Up! & Hero Arts; Cardstock: Stampin' Up! Shimmery White & KI Bazzill; Ink: Stampin' Up! Black Craft Pad & Staz-On Black; Other: Prisma Color Pencils, Gamsol, Blending Stumps, Making Memories Beads, Stickles, Glitter Pen.

Today, I Hate Cancer, but …by Kendra Wietstock, June 2006

Today, I hate cancer.
I hate surgery, chemo & doctor appointments…endless amount of doctor appointments.
I hate that I can’t trust my body anymore.
I hate that it has robbed me of so much ~ my hair, my confidence, my trust in the future, my youth
I hate the physical changes it has made in my body
I hate that I am bald & have to wear a wig
I hate that I only have about 10 eyelashes
I hate that I can’t feel good about my body
I hate that I’m 40 and am being shot into the next stage of life
I hate it when people say I’m sick… I’M NOT SICK!
I hate when I hear people whine about how crappy their life is & how mad they are at God for it… If I can deal with it, so can you…Get over it!
I hate that I will have to worry about my daughter getting breast cancer
I don’t feel strong, courageous, or inspirational.
I hate how fragile and uncertain life seems right now
I hate that I will always fear this is going to come back.

Today, I hate Cancer…
but today, I also feel very blessed because…

There is medical treatment for my cancer that will keep me alive
I have doctors & a medical staff who care & my infusion nurses are fabulous
Chemo didn’t make me as sick as I feared it would
My hair & eyelashes will grow back (at least they tell me that)
I have a wig that I like & it’s sassy and I won’t have to use it forever
I have a husband who really cares about me and has never made me feel more loved AND he keeps me laughing. He is my friend and the love of my life.
I have friends and family who love me and
I’ve made new friends because of this experience.
I have learned that life isn’t always fair but your attitude about it is EVERYTHING – you just have to suck it up & move on
I’ve learned you just need to find the good in every situation
Maybe what I’m going through will help my friends, my sister, or my even my daughter – if that is the case, it makes this easier.
My confidence will return in time, I just need to learn what the new “normal” is now
And, my future – well it will just happen right before my eyes.
The part of me that has to plan everything, just needs to let go a little
If I do appear strong, courageous or inspiring – so be it. Maybe it helped someone through their own situation.
In time and with some patience, I will learn how to deal with the threat because I know God is in control and I need to just let him handle this.

I still hate Cancer and I always will…
but today maybe I can see that some good things can come out of this experience.